Church and Spiritual gifts

So we had church on Sunday and we discussed the interesting topic of spritual gifts, did you ever wonder what yours were, I did. So, I took a survey and found that I have the gift of mercy. I actually had to ask somebody what this meant, what they told me suprised me, but now I see that it describes me to a T. Mercy is compassionate treatment, a disposition to be kind and forgiving, alleviation of destress. I find this rather comical, my children would tell you that I am so merciful and they are so grateful, my husband will tell you that sometimes I am too merciful and allow things to happen without accountabilty. I think they are both right. I let my adult children languish and not do the things that they should be doing because I want to make it alright for them, I want to make them happy and therefore, will do anything for them, rather than make them do it themselves. Is this what God wants me to do with this spiritual gift? I don't think so. I think God wants me to be their mom and to help them do things and show them the way to do things but not to do it for them, otherwise how are they ever going to be productive citizens in this world, and their wives are not going to be happy with me either. I am going to try and work on using this gift with more discernement and to use it to make my adult children great people instead of trying to get them out of everything. I do not know how I will do this but I will try real hard, and pray real hard. I really do not like to see people suffer, it hurts me emotionally and physically and I believe that is where this spiritual gift comes into my heart the most. I have had numerous children live with us that are not ours that need a soft place to land, most have now gone out on their own and are living fruitful lives and I hope that someday they will find a way to pay it forward to someone, is this showing mercy to them or was it again making things too easy? I guess I really need to learn to pray and listen before I move.
I love deeply, and when I say deeply it is a real understatement, if I love you I love you so much that I will do anything and everything to make your life better, and to make it easier for you, I believe this is what God wants me to do and I do it with a joyful heart, there are times that I get hurt because I love so deeply and others don't love me back that way or do not really want my love that deep, so do I stop giving it? I am not sure, but I think that this spiritual gift is one that I enjoy and employ in my daily life, the true question is am I using it right? So, for those who are wondering, my other spiritual gift is writing, have no idea how I use this, or if I even do......except writing a paper for my kids once in awhile in my merciful ways. Thoughts?